You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
~
Yogi Berra
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
~
Woody Allen
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
~
Homer Simpson
Don't give your life a chance to die.
~
Manny Pacquiao
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
~
Bob Hope
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
~ Oscar Wilde
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
~ Mark Twain
The ships hovered in the air exactly as a brick wouldn't.
~
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
~ Albert Einstein
If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.
~
Yogi Berra
Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive.
~
Elbert Hubbard
It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.
~
Yogi Berra
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
~ George Bernard Shaw
I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
~
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.
~
Yogi Berra
If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life.
~
Tommy Lasorda
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
~
Steven Wright
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
~
George Burns
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
~
Bill Cosby
Airplanes may kill you, but they ain't likely to hurt you.
~
Satchel Paige
A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah.
~
Ronald Reagan
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
~
W. C. Fields
Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.
~
Yogi Berra
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
~ Albert Einstein
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
~
Joe E. Lewis
I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.
~
Rodney Dangerfield
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
~
Rodney Dangerfield
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed.
~ Albert Einstein
He was a thinker, political figure, educator, and founder of the Ru School of Chinese thought.
Known to the Chinese as Master Kong and to the rest of the world as Confucius, he created a philosophy
based on virtue and believed in honesty, respect, sincerity.
Confucius taught that it was not the satisfaction of the senses in the present moment that would bring true
happiness, but well-planned actions and the helping of fellow man which mattered most.
(551-479 BCE)
History is the lie commonly agreed upon.
~ Voltaire
We should all be concerned about the future because we will have to spend the rest of our lives there.
~ Charles F. Kettering
Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.
~ Abraham LincolnMore Proverbs
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