I can resist everything except temptation.
~ Oscar Wilde
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
~
Josh Billings
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
~ Mark Twain
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
~
Calvin
California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
~
Fred Allen
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
~
George Burns
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
~
Lily Tomlin
To cease smoking is the easiest thing. I ought to know. I've done it a thousand times.
~ Mark Twain
I never said most of the things I said.
~
Yogi Berra
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
~
Author unknown
Since light travels faster than sound people appear bright until you hear them speak.
~
Author unknown
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
~
Author Unknown
Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
~
Ken Dodd
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
~
Steven Wright
I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.
~
Mitch Hedberg
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
~
Author Unknown
I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.
~
Carl Sandburg
Life is hard. After all, it kills you.
~
Katharine Hepburn
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.
~
Author Unknown
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
~
Groucho Marx
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
~ Woody Allen
In physics, you don't have to go around making trouble for yourself - nature does it for you.
~
Frank Wilczek
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
~
Author Unknown
The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball
90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.
~
Douglas Adams
In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.
~
Rodney Dangerfield
Don’t argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
~
Greg King
Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.
~
Ronald Reagan
When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it.
~
Bernard Bailey
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
~
Agatha Christie
Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.
~
Henry Kissinger
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
~
W. C. Fields
Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.
~
Alfred Hitchcock
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
~
Jay Leno
The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
~
Joe E. Lewis
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
~
Henry A. Kissinger
We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.
~ George Bernard Shaw
After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.'
~ William S. Burroughs
Actor, martial arts expert and an amazing athlete.
He possessed genuine superstar charisma and through a handful of films he left behind an unforgettable impression on the tapestry of modern cinema.
The greatest icon of martial arts cinema, and a key figure of modern popular culture.
The influence of Asian martial arts cinema can be seen today in so many other film genres including comedies, action, drama,
science fiction, horror and animation.....and they all have their roots in the greatness of Bruce Lee.
(1940 - 1973)
History is the lie commonly agreed upon.
~ Voltaire
We should all be concerned about the future because we will have to spend the rest of our lives there.
~ Charles F. Kettering
Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.
~ Albert EinsteinMore Proverbs
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